Stars:
*
Rating: R for violence and
language
Run
Time: 1
hour, 55 minutes
“Collateral Damage” leaps
straight out of the box with high-profile notoriety due to its status as an
entertainment “victim” of Hollywood’s post-9/11 panic regarding audiences and
movie violence. Lucky break for Arnold
Schwarzenegger, whose tenuous film career desperately needs the press.
Not that the coverage will
matter a whit after audiences get a load of this turkey. At this point it’s safe to call it
official: Arnold, at 54, is too old for
his gig as an action hero. Arnold is
L.A. firefighter Gordy Brewer, a decent, family loving saint who runs late to
pick up his wife and son for an appointment, and loses them in a catastrophic
bomb blast of a downtown high-rise (real-life similarities that hit too close
to home in the early days following America’s shocking terrorist attacks). The explosion is credited to a vicious,
Colombian rebel leader known as “The Wolf”,
a soulless killer consumed by hate and driven by rage. Heads up, Wolf-man - Gordy’s got a little
inner rage of his own to fuel the fire.
Typical of the government
investigation process, the search for the bomber is tangled in a mess of red
tape. But Gordy is steeped in integrity
so deep that he proves it by heading into Colombia to track down his family’s
murderer and bring him to justice.
Improbabilities and
questions abound. 1. How does an everyday firefighter create the
quick connections necessary to enter war-torn Colombia? 2. Firefighters do well with inferno, but
when did they become explosives experts?
3. Why does Arnold talk like
he’s chewing a mouthful of marbles?
4. Are talents like John
Leguizamo, Elias Koteas, and John Turturro this desperate for
onscreen recognition?
Nothing new on the horizon
here. Stereotyped Colombians, corrupt
CIA and FBI agents, and a short course in Drugonomics 101. Acting is thoroughly
forgettable, as is a plot “twist” meant to thrill and astonish (and that I saw
coming a mile off). I’m sorry to say
that this should seal the deal – Arnold is not, nor will he be, back.